Mixed

Lately, I've been swinging back and forth between emotions-on opposite ends of the spectrum. The other day, really for no reason that I can comprehend, I started crying. At work. I ran into the bathroom to calm myself down. I still haven't a clue why I just started crying. I hate that part of me. I feel so weak. What I go through is nothing compared to what other spouses have had to endure, not to mention what our husbands (and wives!) are doing overseas. Other times, I'm fine. Like nothing is happening. I haven't decided if this is normal or not.

So I keep busy. I spend my day off cleaning my room. Next is the kitchen and living room. There are boxes from cleaning out the third room. Hopefully the person that wants to rent it will be in soon. We could really use the extra person in here.

I have the oddest relationship with time right now. Have you ever had one of those dreams, where you are running towards something but you aren't moving? That whatever it is you are trying to catch is calling to you, taunting you, but you still go nowhere? That's how it is with time lately. It moves so quickly, a week is gone in a blink of an eye--but never quick enough. It still feels like forever until Mike gets home.

Anyway. Onto a better subject.

I started jogging again. I know the doctor told me not to, but my knee has been feeling so much better lately that I just had to try. I jogged for 6 minutes straight (gotta build it back up!), and didn't have an asthma attack OR blow out my knee. I didn't stay on the treadmill long, just enough to warm up, jog as long as I could handle it, and cool down. I refuse to push too hard right now, specifically since I don't want to kill my knees. I've apparently dodged the bullet so far.

More good news: I'm down 8.2 pounds in a little over 3 weeks! It's been mostly my eating habits. Apparently eating like I'm diabetic is helping me. I only have 24 more pounds to go. My neighbor says that she can tell a difference already; I'm not so sure. I'm also a little wary of this weight loss, because I went down then went back up-way up. I think it was probably the beer I had the other night, since then I've researched and have found that any alcohol will make you retain water. I've decided that I'm not drinking again until after I'm at my goal weight. Then I can afford to splurge every now and again, and deal with the water retention. Right now, still so new into this lifestyle change, the little things are adding up and sometimes make me want to quit. But aside from being a little bad every now and again, I'm keeping myself eating healthy. I'm just surprised that I've gone this long. It really does take a lot of willpower to buy groceries and not grab a bunch of candy bars at the checkout.

The next few weeks should be entertaining. Two weeks from tomorrow, I fly home for my little brother's wedding, where I will be taking pictures. Not with my camera, which is still broken, but my cousins'. They have very generously offered to let me borrow their cameras. Five days later, I fly home, only to turn around two days after that to pick up my father in law, who will be here in OK to visit and go to a friends' wedding with me. A few days after that, I drive him back to the airport, and half a week after that (still there?), I am planning on going to the Blue October concert. Woooo!

Until then, however, my life will consist of working, cleaning, and the occasional emails and phone calls from my husband. Speaking of which, I need to up the minutes on my plan. I forgot that he was calling from a 'landline', and not his cell phone...so I have over a $200 phone bill to pay. I'm going to try and wait it out til the end of the month, so I don't get pro-rated, but once my minutes creep up there, I'm going to have to break down to avoid paying so much. Oh, well. It's worth it to be able to hear his voice.