I was about to leave for work today, when I had the thought: I am a military wife. How did this happen? The process: I was happy because tomorrow is my day off. My day off means that I get to talk to my husband. My husband is in Afghanistan, because of the military. I married my husband...therefore, I am a military wife.
It was just one of those moments, where you knew something before, but it never really hit you until some random point of your life. I am not only someone's WIFE, but a military one at that. I remember once telling myself that I would never be able to handle it. However, somehow, here I am, 'handling' it to the best of my ability. The reason I put that into quotations is that I have my moments, where I break down and cry, or something good happened that I keep forgetting to tell my husband about, because we don't talk everyday like civilian couples do. When I was younger, and I heard women talking about their husbands overseas, I just couldn't imagine a world where I didn't see my significant other for months or years at a time. Even in my previous relationships, I couldn't imagine taking more than a week apart...until the eventual end, when spending time apart became mandatory, otherwise a break-up would ensue (believe me, had I realized that at the time, I would have saved myself the head and heartache-hindsight is a bitch). But with Mike...we've lived together a total of 6 months together. We will be married 2 years in December. And somehow, it's alright. I don't like it, but I'm living. Thriving, in a way. I just can't believe that I never seriously thought that I could ever be an Army wife...and here I am.
Don't get me wrong, I hate that he's gone. That he can't see or hear about my small everyday accomplishments, or that I can't unload on him like when he's home. But I'm also using this time to think, to plan. To see who I am, without Mommy or Daddy or my husband to take care of me. am solving problems. I am making changes in my life that are going to be healthier for me. I am emotionally growing, so that I will be that much better when Mike comes home.
See what I mean about random thought process?
That was my insight for the day. Other than the thinking that I do, things have been normal. I am still losing weight (yay!), and I think it's definitely because of the blood sugar issue I have. Since cutting the artificial sugar and white flour, I'm dropping weight very quickly. I did find out that even a little bit of alcohol will cause major water retention, so I am cutting off all alcohol until I get to my goal weight and can afford to splurge a bit. I did have some Pepsi Max tonight. I just couldn't face the ridiculous amount of sugar in the real thing, and I know if I had a can, I would drink the whole thing. So I had the diet version, and only drank about 8 oz. So we will see how I feel tomorrow. It gives me just enough Pepsi flavor to help the cravings, but it isn't as good, so I don't want to drink a whole lot of it. I may try getting a can of regular Pepsi and drinking half of it next week, and see how I feel.
No comments:
Post a Comment