A quick post, because I am really tired, but unable to fall asleep. Maybe if I write...?
I'm slowly learning that there are no rules anymore. As a child, teen, and young adult, I had all sorts of rules to follow. It was comforting, because they were always there, giving my life structure. Now that I'm an adult, I fully expect things to go the way I think they should go...but they never do. Or maybe it's not that I'm learning that there aren't any rules; its that I'm realizing that the world definitely is bigger than me. I don't know which it is. All I know is, the things I want, I have to work for. Things I want don't always happen the way I want them to. And just because I say 'please' doesn't mean that it'll happen.
I miss my husband. I mean, that's a given. But this deployment is definitely teaching me that I won't always get my way-or hardly at all. I can't just wish him home. I can't wish time to go any faster. Almost nothing I can do or think will change anything he might experience over there. I say that because I do send him things, and so I hope I influence him just a little. It's a humbling experience, but one that isn't sitting very comfortably right now. Maybe, once Mike is home, I won't fight it so much. But right now, it's hard.
Anyway. Anyway.
Last Saturday was rough. I had to work a mid, so I wasn't able to go out and show my support. The city I currently live in had a soldier's funeral on Saturday. RIP Spc. Jordan Morris. Unfortunately, the Westboro Church decided they were going to protest here in town. Luckily Okies are VERY patriotic, so a TON of people lined the streets, waving flags, and the Patriot Guard helped to keep everything together, as well. That 'church' honestly makes me so angry! I don't care what you believe in, this isn't my place to judge ANYONE. However, I do not support protesting at funerals, regardless. There is no place for disrespect at a funeral. What has happened in this world that allows for such crude intolerance? I mean, again, believe what you will. But to advertise that not only are you PRAYING for the deaths of thousands of the soldiers that are fighting for your right to mouth this bullsh*t, you are going to pray for the deaths of children? No, I do not support your 'right' to do any of that.
Again, luckily it went well. The protesters showed up, but no one payed much attention to them. The focus was on Spc. Morris' funeral and family, as it should have been.
MIKE WAS ABLE TO CALL! I was so excited to hear from him. We talked for two hours, and it made me feel sooo much better. I hope that it helped him, too, a little. I was so angry at first, because in the two minutes I literally left my phone in my room to check something, he called. I was angry enough to throw a measuring cup against the wall. (I don't condone violence; however, I thought that was a better alternative to throwing my cell phone or punching a wall-there was that much anger). Luckily, he was able to call back. We were busy making plans about the rest of our lives. Or maybe the next year or two.
One last thing before I go. (And I know this has been all over the place-but I'm tired and don't care to properly segue into the next paragraph.) I have officially lost 3.4 pounds in about a week and two days. Wooo! Cutting out the processed flour and sugar seem to be working. I mean, I tend to eat very healthy now. Most days I eat between 1200-1300 calories, and it's all healthy. Whole wheat, lean meats, veggies, fruits, and some dairy. Everything low-or reduced-fat, no added sugar. It's actually slightly easier than I thought when I first started. It's just a matter of good planning, and learning to read labels. My kitchen scale is fast becoming my new BFF. I've been doing the 'naughty' thing and weighing myself everyday, like the experts tell you not to. Except for one day when the scale stayed at the same weight as the day before, it's been a steady drop in weight. Not a single day have I gained an ounce over what I was the day before. I can't wait to start seeing more of a difference in my appearance. I've already noticed a difference in my energy levels, and mood. So, here's to hoping I keep it up!
I guess this post wasn't as short as I thought it would be.
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