Rain

I thought about posting earlier, but felt that I really didn't have much to say. A few hours went by, and I wanted to post again, but still felt like I had done nothing worthy of writing in the past few days. Sure, I went out, and exercised. I baked a pie and homemade pizza today. But that's really it.

I've been in a bad mood the last few days...mainly since I've gotten back from MI. I think I was so busy, and surrounded by a lot of people that were my friends and family, that I just didn't have time to feel anxious or anything. Now that I am back in OK, I have a lot of time on my hands to think about everything. I wish I were working, but that isn't working out like I hoped. Exercise only takes up so much time, and that just lets me think more. I don't really watch TV, because I hate being sucked into it. I think I need to read more...but ran out of books to read. Since I'm not working a whole lot, I don't have the money to go get more books. And I just keep thinking about everything going on right now. Mike is overseas. My mom is doing well, but it's still there. I'm a thousand miles from the town I grew up in, and all of my family and friends. I get frustrated easily. I mean, I have people here...but they are busy with their own lives. Since all I do is stress about the same things all the time, I'm tired of complaining about everything to them. Even if they say it's alright, it's not. I just don't know what to do about it.

That was were I was this morning. I went with Buck to the farmer's market, and just strolled around, then to the grocery store to buy things for an apple pie that I was gonna make for her family reunion. We got back, started the pies (pizza and dessert), and then I went to check with my neighbor to see if I could use their oven. And it was raining out.

Rain and water are important to me. I grew up less than fifteen minutes away from Lake Michigan, and MI has a pretty decent rainfall average. Moving to OK, there is less rain, and even less water. It's a big change. So when I saw that it was raining, I ran outside to stand in it. And just the joy that I got from standing in a rainstorm made me feel so much better. Like it was cleansing, or something. Just a little reminder of home, I suppose.

The rain almost inspires me to write. I haven't written a single word in a long time. Maybe the time to start is now. And maybe it will give me something to hold on to.